I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
