Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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