I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
