Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
