May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
