Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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