i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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