Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
