I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
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