I've blown a few things in my day
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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