So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
