Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Even my vagina gasped.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
