I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
this is an emotional support booty call
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
