I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I need to stop coming to work sober
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
