singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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