I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you win again, gameday.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
