the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
