the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
