i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
being pregnant is like rehab
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
