he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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