We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
