she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
