i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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