I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
