I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize