he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize