you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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