im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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