do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
