Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
In America we eat man semen.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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