apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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