Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
