Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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