Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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