We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
