the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
