you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
