I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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