The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
