I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I didn't notice because vodka
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
