he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
