so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Can you bring me the toilet please
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
