i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
