So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
