Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize