I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
