I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
there is another microwave in the elevator.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
