also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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