i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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