we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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