I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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