I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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