your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
