I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
