i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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