yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
