My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
