I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
