Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
