You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize