I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
