Will you blow on my dice?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
