We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize