we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
porn star boner night. come get it.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just blew my weed a kiss
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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