I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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