Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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