her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
