i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
