Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
