Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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