Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just pee around me
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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