doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
