I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
